I don’t know when this started, but I don’t like showing off my work on purpose. If people happen upon my portfolio or the work I’ve done for others, that’s awesome – that sort of indirect marketing is enough for me.
Even as a young child, I kept everything I did to myself – such as the 3D art worlds I created with Bryce, the posters I crafted and was actually proud of, or the story worlds I built over the decades. Of course, there’s a famous saying about this sort of mentality: we’re our own biggest critics. “Perfect is the enemy of good.” As a creative producer in the industry for over twenty years, it’s easy to do work for others, because other people judge the work I do for them. More often than not, it’s easier to please clients than it is to please myself. I see fault in everything I do for myself, even if everyone else doesn’t.
For example, there’s a Facebook group called Authors Supporting Authors, and I’m super hesitant about posting about my book there. Perhaps it’s insecurity that someone might say my writing is bad, or that my wife’s painting of the cover is wonky, but they’re all personal to me. I don’t mind constructive criticism – this is something I’ve been dealing with for all of my adult life, and should welcome it. So it’s not that sort of criticism. I guess it’s the type of criticism that might cost me my motivation. Does that make sense?
It took a long time for me to get to this place where I am diligently writing down my ideas and actually typing up the stories. It’s a lot of emotional work to do this. So I guess the fear is that the words of strangers might derail that.
